I'm looking for a way to go, watching silly things I never cared before, pretending they are so important now, just in a fake world.. knowing finally I will fall asleep, and wake up again... fighting through those hours of light for reaching again my favorite darkest places.. where I can find thousands friends.. and at the same time feeling so alone.. but happy to leave a sign...
Cars hissing by the window, a soft light by that streetlamp where lovers never kissed beside, but I could saw them so clearly in the movie of imagination. The bed feels like a trap tonight... sheets feeling rough like the walls of a cardboard box.. where I'm living in.. ready to be delivered, but no one is coming to pick... so many wrong addresses I wrote.. so many times I've bet my heart on the wrong number...
I'm looking for a way to go, watching silly things I never cared before, pretending they are so important now, just in a fake world.. knowing finally I will fall asleep, and wake up again... fighting through those hours of light for reaching again my favorite darkest places.. where I can find thousands friends.. and at the same time feeling so alone.. but happy to leave a sign...
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Breathe..
stars are beating like little shining hearts in the dark sky.. soul is so heavy... cannot anything but lying down on the grass watching them... sadness is kidnapping my soft thoughts... darkness is holding my wrists and ankles to the ground.... Breathe... as a baby shouting to life once out of the belly house... frantically... livid skin.. reddish... messy hair.... Breathe... as a tree in the countryside... giving air... taking air... as a walking wood.. coming to my castle.. and making it fall.. in the heavy noise of rocks falling... in the silent noise of tears dropping... Breathe... and listen to the sound of your breath in your ears, in your forehead, in your nose... a bird is singing... it's morning... earth is breathing... your heart is still breathing... Breathe... I'm that moth drawing orbits around the streetlamp..
I see something shining like the truth.. and I can't reach it... it's so scary.. so many fellows fell down burnt by that! People walking on a sidewalk of a solitary street.. a couple stopping by... and flirting.. and the search of the truth still flying over their heads... The search of the truth like a cloud full of rain following us everywhere... I'm one of those moths.. lying down on the street now... I'm part of the whole life of the world, flowing and going on... and I dared.. The invisible man...
Sometimes I feel I would like being invisible among the people.. Crowd is a good camouflage.. that would be nice.. the whole of me would be invisible.. it would be fun seeing that coat walking alone.. at last not being bothered by boring people.. but the best would be being invisible to myself.. so I couldn't see my mess, my faults, my heart... just an invisible heart... yesss.. would be fine.. what's this beating?.. I can't see anything beating... "Heeey! I'm your heart.. can you hear me? if I wasn't here you couldn't live... and please.. stop drawing me by that stupid shape! can you figure how complicated I am?.. did you know how many times I helped you to be deep? heeeeeyy!!!...".... ......... ..... The deaf man... Sometimes I feel I would like being deaf among the people... ..... ...... ........ |
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